Investment in a belief system

I am realizing how much I have invested into this current scheme of thinking. I have spent so much time and put so much effort into establishing this set-up, that I am worried for my goal to be open-minded. I want to be able to be influenced by my daily life and to compare each day with this project I am working on. I don't want it to be static but ever evolving, but that is hard to do. I know that any big ideas have the potential to overturn this scheme, and I will be at a loss. All of this I have already completed will need to be modified, and I had enough trouble getting any ideas the first time.

I want to be open to influence, but I don't want what I hear to flip me on end. I want life to go according to this plan I have established because I can' t imagine starting over again if one piece doesn't fit. I have this idea where I write a book on what I am thinking, and if this all goes down the tubes, then so does this project. It is quite an unusual instance of a very common predicament. I am holding onto something because I fear that which change may bring to it, but this is also supposed to be something particularly open to change and responsive to that which doesn't fit. I would be a hypocrite to not accept the change that I preach, but still I am uncomfortable with the notion of loosing what I've done so far.

Where this plays out is in my interactions with other people regarding their Meanings. I want to be accepting of that which they've established as their Meanings, but I also just want these to fit into my own creation so that I don't have to deal with anything new. So I ask people for their responses to my work hoping for nothing more than happy encouragement. And so far that has been the majority of it, but that has no indications for the future.

That said, if I could establish a "more true" set of beliefs, I would be willing to start from scratch, because I wouldn't be starting from the beginning. Parts of what I have can definitely be reapplied and redone to fit the new casting, but it still means a lot of work. But that's life, and that's how I like it. What fun would this be if it were straightforward?